My psych said that the highest dose he would consider for quetiapine prescribed to help with anxiety and BPD related symptoms would be around the 350-400mg mark. It's a bit difficult to give an idea of what dose is "normal" for this type of use because as it stands it is off-label. I started out on 25mg just to take the edge off my anxiety and flashbacks etc at night but it's been upped periodically and I'm now on 350mg. I used to take the extended release once a day at night but I found that the normal release twice a day suited me better.
100mg is probably a good starting point, you obviously don't want to be on any more than you need to be but you need to have enough in your system to know whether it's helping, there's a lot of fine-tuning I'm afraid.
You're absolutely NOT a hopeless case, I just read your thread in R&V and my heart goes out to you. Please please please don't believe that things will be like this forever. The idea that PD's are untreatable and life-long is outdated and simply not true. Meds can only do so much because they're really just about managing symptoms but the right therapy can change your life completely. Having BPD means that the foundations on which your mental and emotional landscape have been built on are faulty, with the effect that everything built on those foundations is shaky and unstable. This isn't your fault. The good news is that you can rebuild the foundations and over time everything built on top of the new foundations will be stronger and more stable. I wish there were a simple, easy way to fix this but there isn't. Therapy gives you the tools to change how you see yourself and the world but you have to put your faith in them and put the work in out of session. I know a lot of the stuff they ask you to do seems silly or cliched and it doesn't feel like it's ever going to make things better, but I absolutely promise you that it all works. I really realised how much all the (what I initially thought of as crap) mindfulness and all the other jargon they throw at you actually works this week. I had some really horrific news on Friday, and everybody has been waiting for me to fall apart, including me. Not so long ago I would have fallen apart and would have probably been hospitalised by now. But I'm still here, in one piece, because I've practiced all this crap for years now and it actually does work. It's still not easy and to say that I have my moments would be an understatement, but it's getting there. I've gone from being classed as chronic and pretty hopeless to having a very good prognosis. Don't give up on yourself, things can change and underneath all the pain you're feeling you're a wonderful person. Don't lose sight of that.
Also, I feel like a real cow for maybe sounding a bit cold as far as your relationship with group members goes. It's wonderful to offer support and to be able to receive it from someone who really actually gets it. It's a testament to your character that you feel so strongly about wanting to be able to be there for this girl. All I'm saying is to be aware and don't lose sight of the fact that you're both there for a reason and that you can't fix each other. Relationships for people with BPD can be a really difficult area, we become very strongly attached to people very quickly and as a result can end up being hurt very badly. But you clearly understand all of this and that shows great insight and self-awareness. I'm making huge assumptions about people I don't know, but just going by labels (which I hate doing), boundaries are likely to be a huge issue for both of you, so long as you know what your boundaries are and you maintain them and don't become enmeshed in other people's issues, you'll be fine.
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