Thanks.
I am feeling...ugh.. maybe better? I am safe at the moment. But I have been very jittery the last couple days since the Emergency Room. I haven't been sleeping well and I've had a lot of very high anxiety. I feel like everyone knows whats under my sleeve. I'm also in a good deal of pain now; from the initial injury... the cleaning process in ER, the stitches, the pressure they had to put on it for so long. I ...er sorry if this is gross... managed to cut an artery so I was bleeding a lot. I waited a while before going to the ER because I thought I could take care of it myself with pressure and time (I'm graduating nursing school in may... do i know pretty well how to deal) but I was just bleeding too much. They put in 12 or so stitches... didn't keep much track while they were doing it, and its under pressure wrap till Saturday night so I can't see them till then. I am starting to bruise pretty bad around the wrapping where I can see...I would imagine under the wrap is pretty bruised also. idk. It was just all very surreal while I was there... now its just so confusing. I feel very lost and ashamed. They threatened to put me inpatient at the ward in town... so that was kind of a reality check. THey let me go on the account that I promised to see my provider for meds and a therapist ASAP... but the funny thing is.. I try to make appointments and theyre all full all the time. It's practically impossible. I have an appointment on monday with a Counseling Intern...its the best I could do. Idk. I am hanging by a thread right now. So, i guess we will see how the rest of the weekend goes.
*curls up*
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