Originally Posted by
quiet1
i don't want to hurt my boyfriend.
SI isn't about your boyfriend. It isn't about your parents. It's only about you. You can't quit for someone else - you need to quit for yourself.
I suspect that like me you hit overwhelm so badly that the only logical outlet is SI. (I really get that. But I know I will not be able to quit for good until I want it, Right now I can admit that I have a problem. I recognize it is not a healthy way of dealing. I can hold off for days, weeks or months, keeping injury to a minimum... but I can't quit. There is something in me that is not ready to give it up yet. And I need to come to that in and of myself - not for any external reason, but because I am doing it for me.
When I start to worry about others in the cutting equation I simply create a lot more stress, guilt and shame for myself. And that doesn't do anybody any good.
Please take care of yourself and do what is right for YOU. It is OK to be selfish about your needs. Tell your boyfriend that you appreciate his care and concern, but also tell him what you need. That might be space, or it might be care and concern. For me... I need a lot of space. Care, concern, worry... that set me off worse than ever.
Take care of yourself please... for you.