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Old 08-09-2011, 05:43 AM   #44
jess :)
please tell me there's something better
 
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Join Date: Apr 2010
I am currently:

1.Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you if you like someone?
jono which is just stupid

2. Do you drool/snore/ect. in your sleep?
yep

3. What curse word do you say the most when your pissed?
to myself? ****

4. Seventh text in your inbox?
N/A

5. Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?
yes, it was not fun sticking up for her

6. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you?
don't know

7. Are you tanned?
no not at all

8. Hair color?
dark, ugly brown

10. Confused about anything?
everything

11. Do you have any pets?
Yes

13. Do your initials spell anything?
No

14. Last person you fought with?
My sister i think or mum

15. What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?
the red and white checkered book holders on the back of our chairs, crossing off the date from the callender and putting up the picture of the weather, my first day, quite a few other things.

16. How do you calm down when your extremely angry?
i don't do much, i write in my diary, i have a hot shower, i go insane, i scratch myself i pace, i tear up but can't seem to cry, i grind my teeth and try to hold in my screams, i listen to bmth and underoath which i'm not too proud of.

23. Last movie you watched?
beatles documentary

24. What are you doing tomorrow?
School which i am absolutely freaking out about, going to claire's

25. Are you excited for anything?
death? finally snapping and cutting myself really badly, yeah that tends to keep me under control.

26. Were you bad in high school?
no and i'm not.

27. What are you doing currently?
procrastonating over my work and feeling really anxious

28. Is anything on your mind?
i can't do this, i have no idea how i can get out of my situation at school, i can't stand life, i need help, i need to talk to someone, i can't i can't i can't but i have to!

29. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
don't have one. sometimes i think about people i've liked

30. Have you ever been given roses?
No

31. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, the notebook

32. how many times have you honestly fallen in love?
one time i really believed i did, like i really did. i was filling a chasm and it was all in my head, in reality it didn't add up.

33. What’s your current problem?
i can't kill myself :'(

34. Have you ever had your heart broken?
depression has completely hacked away at it, i'm scared to think of what's left

35. Had a long distance relationship?
no

36. Do you believe the statement, once a cheater always a cheater?
i don't really give a damn

37. How many kids do you want?
4 or less

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
yeah i guess

43. Are you happy with your love situation?
i have no love in my life

44. Do you know someone who likes you?
no that is a very rare occasion last time it happened i was in year 9 i think so that was about 3 years ago

45. Do you like anyone?
No

46. Name something that made you frown today?
talking

47. What were you doing at 7 this morning?
Sleeping

48. What were you doing 1 hour ago?
on the phone

49. What is something you will never forget?
how i feel

50. What was the last thing you said aloud?
that's alright

51. How many different things did you drink today?
3

52. What was the last thing you bought?
cherry coke

53. What color is your room?
pale blueish

54. What is the weather going to be like tomorrow?
don't care.

55. Vanilla or chocolate?
Chocolate

56. Are you random?
i used to be, i am with claire and jess

57. Do you laugh a lot?
too much

58. Are you ticklish?
yes

59. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not at all

60. Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
don't know dad probably people don't call me often

61. Do you chew on straws?
yep

62. What is the next concert you're going to?
i've only ever been to one so i have no idea

63. What's the biggest disappointment to you lately?
still being here

64. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleep

65. Is success in your future?
i don't want to know, i feel threatened by the idea that i could succeed in the future

66. Do you have a nickname?
yeah a couple

67. Are you a heavy sleeper?
not since i cut down on seroquel

68. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
A week or two ago

69. When was the last time you said I love you to a parent?
last night

70. Was today a good day?
it was a really really hard one

71. What are you listening to?
Nothing

72. Are you upset about life right now?
upset and distressed angry and unconfident and a lot of other emotions.

73. What kind of music you like best?
indie music

74. How do you like to spend the holidays?
it's hard, i never normally do anything and it makes me unwell, but i feel physically ill when i do 'fun' things and i really struggle to enjoy them

75. Do you currently have feelings for someone?
no

76. How do you feel about Valentine's day?
Just another lonely day. ashamed at myself for being a nobody

77. How is your hair?
messy, gross shortish

78. Are any of your grandparents still alive?
one

79. Where do you keep your money?
i never have more than ten dollars and it is really upsetting because it's embarrassing how povo i am, it's hard cause i can't buy things that express myself and i feel like an idiot but i try to hang on to the little change i have in my wallet

80. What was the weather like on your b-day?
sunny.

81. Would you make out with anyone on your top 8?
no.

82. What instant messaging system do you use?
fb

83. Do you own a stereo that costs more than 100 dollars?
my dad might

84. Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them and meant it?
i thought i did a little

85. Is there anyone that doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?
i don't know, i sometimes hope there are people who hate me...

86. Do you miss someone?
ouch, yes yes i do

87. When is the last time you laughed?
i think i did on the phone, i didn't feel it though

88. How are you feeling?
confused, upset, unsure, scared of myself, like i'm on the edge of insanity, uncomfortable, hurting, angry, insecure, very depressed

89. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
don't know what that even means^ i kissed andy briefly once it was stupid and he looked shocked and upset it was awful and i struggled so hard to be happy about it.

90. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
i don't remember

91. Do you wish on 11:11?
didn't know that concept existed



they don't get it i wanna scream
i wanna breathe again
i wanna dream

jess :) is offline   Reply With Quote