thanks for the support people, I really was starting to buy into all the things my dual diagnosis social worker had been saying to me. Unfortunately, I need him, he is trying to make a referral to CMHT for me, my support worker at the hostel doesn't have the power to do that for me ( and shes on holiday anyway for 2 more weeks). The dual diagnosis worker has been pushing for months for me to go to residential rehab, and I have been making excuses not to, because if I deal with the mental health issues, i dont feel the need to drink and escape. I wanna go back to psychology first and see if that helps, and handle it though my gp.
However, I had rather unpleasant physical and mental withdrawl symptoms saturday night from abstaining from alcohol. I was suppose to spend the weekend with family to keep me safe, but ended up walking out in the middle of the night. Thankgod the buses were running later in the night because of the weekend, or i would have had to walk 2 hours home with my guitar, laptop and luggage. I'm lucky i didn't get mugged.
I'm stuck in a rut atm. Drinking is amplifying mental health issues and leading to a relapse, I'm pretty sure if I told psych at a n e, I would be sectioned. At the same time, I handle my emotions without alcohol alot less safely. I'm more impulsive when sober and in distress. When drinking, I normally just end up going to sleep.
I think I need to be IP, whether in rehab or psych ward. I just dont feel safe anymore.
PV: I was discharged from EIPT earlier this year. They really screwed me over, they promised they wouldn't dump me and I would have continued support, but then my cnp turned up one day and said, all referrals had fallen thorough, because managers who I had never even met had decided that I should go it alone for a while. That was the last time i saw my cpn. Now I just have the hostel staff to help me and there not particularly good at doing anything, other than taking long breaks in the garden. There more house wardens than support workers, my support worker is on holiday, and the one that is here hates me so shes completely unapproachable.
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