it sounds like you're struggling alot. i used to (still do but not nearly as much) struggle with some of the same things. you don't sound weird at all.
i would talk to your doctor, and bring up the social anxiety disorder. the therapy i did is CBT, specifically exposure therapy. its not real pleasant as it involves pushing yourself to do thing things you're scared of over and over, but it works really well. it also is a great feeling when you realize that you really are able to do these things.
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