i think that you're probably right. At least partially.
i am struggling a lot at the moment. With depression mostly. But anxiety is also a problem for me. i go through phases with anxiety. A year ago i could hardly leave the house. And now i have this. Although this feels separate that doesn't mean it is. This feels like it has been creeping up on me for quite some time.
i know that it's not something i need to worry about at the moment. Although i also feel that maybe it's something that i should tackle now. i don't want this to get worse.
The whole having children thing is a four fold anxiety for me.
First there's conceiving a child [[i.e. sex]].
Then there's carrying the child inside me whilst i'm pregnant.
Then childbirth.
The having to actually bring up and look after a child.
All four of those things completely terrify me. i know it's ridiculous. But i could write for ages about why each of those things is so awful. Sorry i'm just going a little crazy.
i think that if things got better with my depression and my anxiety then yes this would probably get better too. But i can imagine those things getting better, i really can't imagine ever not feeling this way about this. It's consuming me. Maybe what's important isn't so much to stop being scared of this. It's to not let my anxiety descend into panic. When things get better with my eating and how i feel about my body that might help to.
i think that a lot of this does come from struggles with my body. Not all of it. Just some.
i don't know whether this really is the problem. i just know that it is a problem.
Thankyou for replying.
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