Hey,
I don't know what to say... Firstly, well done for coming to terms with the fact that this is becoming an issue... that is the first step to recovering.. =) *claps*
I hope you find this supportive...here we go(sorry if this makes no sense):
You might have self esteem issues? If so, realising what type of course you are doing and reminding yourself how hard you worked to get onto the course and into the uni, might be the first step to realising you are better than you think... you have done alot better than just "good" at school and college to get this far. you obviously have brains =) (lucky moo)
I'm sure you have met some grim people in the time you've been binging on illicit drugs... I certainly have met some 'orrible people in the last year... the reason some of these people aren't very nice is because the drugs have taken their mind and body to such a dark place. They haven't been strong or motivated enough or had the right people around them to make them realise they are better than what they are doing...which is sad for them.
People with mental health issues are prone to drug use to try and get away from some kind of destressing emotion, i know when i have felt low i have taken ket to knock myself out or meow to give me motivation to do anything...
This is one thing to think about as drugs are only a temporary solution which could end up being another problem mentally for physically.
The way i think about it is that it's a pain to be low on cigarettes on a sunday when shops close early, which means i have to be at a shop before it closes to get some more cigarettes... to have to have that extra burden to have to worry about when/where/how to get my next fix of drugs would be such a pain...
Thinking about your relationship with your mum prior to drug use might encourage you to take yourself out of the situation... if you can't remember what it was like, maybe look at some happy photos of you two together?
I don't know what country you're from, but maybe looking for something like addaction (uk drug charity) for support? Speak to a uni councillor? there are things you can do.. like changing your number/facebook to something and delete the peoples numbers... or asking them to not let you take anything because you think you have a problem...
You could say to your mum you are struggling with something that you can't talk about, but would be really helpful if you could call her (when you have urges to take something)... or if you want to be completely straight with her, just tell her... she may go mad, she may be upset... but she wouldn't be angry... she'll want to help you...
ahh this is probs all jumbled up...
what would you say to someone who has posted the same thing? we all know how to give advice... it's just taking our own advice =P
*hugs* message me if you like... i'll talk about anything..
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