Originally Posted by
trekkinthrulife
My brother has autism, dyslexia, and a mood disorder similar to bipolar, although I don't believe he is diagnosed bipolar. To be honest I have a very difficult time remembering my childhood. (I dont know why, I'm only 20). I don't believe I was ever envious of my brother with the exception of one time his medication made him very sick (almost a comatose like state). I have grown up knowing I was very loved and wanted......I think my SI issues are all my own. However living with my brother, my father (bipolar and aspergers) and my mom ( a lot of physical health issues) has always caused a lot of stressed and worry which I suppose affects my SI. I have never SI for attention.....
I do know how difficult it can be. I used to get frustrated when my friends would say how they liked my brother or how sweet he is and how terrible I was for ever getting angry with him. He is my brother, all siblings fight, but because he was 'special' it was wrong for me to ever get mad at him....
Please feel free to PM me if you want, if only for a vent
OK thanks for your reply, but I think you misunderstood some things...
I was never envious of my brother either - at the time I just accepted it as how life is. It's only looking back I can see the impact my family's comments and actions had on my self esteem. NOTHING to do with envy.
I have never self injured for attention either - it started off very secretly, and it was only when things got to critical point that I asked for help. Seeing medical care ... maybe I didnt put it quite right, it's more like seeing that someone actually bothers to treat me - like proving to me in my head (or trying to) that I'm worth the same as everyone else. VERY different to purely SIing for attention.