I understand the desire to want to leave mental health problems, appointments, memories etc behind. I have it frequently too. But I agree with above that if you stop taking your medication right now it's not going to help you be without these issues.
In fact, if you cease your medication you're likely to experience more mental health issues, and in turn, need more appointments.
I feel the same as you do - I'm sick of having mental health problems, being 'the crazy one', people at the doctors surgery knowing my name. But I also acknowledge that the best way to no longer be "that person with mental health problems" is to comply with treatment.
If you can comply with treatment (take medication and go to appointments) you're likely to begin to rebuild a life that isn't surrounded by these things, your health will get better and you'll be less reliant on the appointments, and able to do other things with your life. Sure, it sucks now have to be on medication, but taking it is hopefully going to help you seriously improve your quality of life, to the point where you won't feel this unwell.
I think it was interesting where you said you want to stop taking medication ('without the fear it will get scary again'). Is that possible right now? Or is stopping medication going to mean you're not getting the treatment you need and therefore, things may very well get scary for you.
I suggest you continue with your medication until you've had a long period of wellness, and then discuss with your professionals about coming off. You may not need to be on them forever but if they can help you through now, it's worth it.
Do your professionals know how you're feeling?
The best way to put this all behind you, is to help yourself get better. Not worse. You can do it, but it's not a case of "pulling your socks up", it's a case of helping yourself and getting help from others when you need it.
Please, take care x
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