I'm sorry aimee. I'm sorry isabelle.
at work I kept looking at the clock willing it to hurry up and be 1pm already. before work I had to go to the pet shop to get hay for the boys. C was working and we spoke a bit and she asked how the boys were. I told her about munchkin and she said that he could have mites but that seems unlikely cuz of his symptoms... I told her I would bring him in to show her early monday morning - thats good? right?? making plans for next week?
but the urge is so strong and even when I sit outside in the sun I dont feel anything. I tried doing some mindfulness before outside hoping it would slow the thoughts down, reduce the urges but it didnt:( tried doing some distress tolerence skills and self soothing too but nothing is helping and that leaves me feeling discouraged and like a failure.
4 more groups and I will finish this current module... and I may not even make it into the next module cuz its already full but I already told mum I was in it:s and I dont know if i can wait 12 weeks from end of sept to do the next one:s
I am really scared of saying what the plans are. stupid huh?
am trying to fight them but I dont know if I can anymore. just feel so little and small.
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