I know but I seriously wouldn't be believed seriously they've labelled me a liar because I denied truth and the police didn't do a thing when I told them the first time (I've spoken to them twice one police two social both forced) why would they believe me this time? I tried reporting and they shoved it back in my face making me look a horrible person. They wouldn't brlieve my mum told me that and she works with them so she knows they wouldn't. The negativity that came off them the time they saw me in hospital was powerful they were degrading judgemental and sarcastic to me, they snorted and laughed to eachother. It'd more than likely be the same people. If I lived out of county I'd report it but I can't whilst I live here. I wouldn't be believed nothing would be done! Id like to stop it but my scenario is such even if I did report it nothing would happen and I know I'm a horrid person for doing so and being so selfish. Sorry. I need to be able to Talk through the memories and things to be certain it was this person before reporting it and I'm being denied this chance... Because my psychosis and professionals caused me a lot of confusion as my abuse entered my delusions before but I know now those weren't real. As for professionals they've enforced their opinions making me cOnfused as well. I just need to talk these things through and be certain before reporting but I'm not allowed to do this. I hope you understand that, I need to talk through the things that make me believe it was him but Ive been told I can't. J thought that's what therapy is for but they've just gone straight to it. Don't I have a chance first? Basically they're saying I can't talk about it they've shut me down but its what I'm in therapy for. It's just confusing
For me because I can't talk to anyone else about it... So I can't be 100% it
was him this is what i need to talk through that I haven't talked through before I've always avoided it and now Im ready to I've hit a brick wall. This is what i find difficult. I hope it makes sense.
|