you're a beautiful person, you chose to have an abortion two years ago because you made a decision based on the best of your knowledge at the time, therefore you can regret it all you like, but you did what you thought was best and there's no mistake in that.
it sounds like you've been through a lot, you're probably not prepared to talk about that to a bunch of strangers of the internet and i get that, but it sounds like people have been hurting you all your life - why do you want to join them and hurt yourself?
also, you might like this website...
it's so cute and peaceful.
http://amitaytweeto.com/thequietplace/
oh,
and this for when you feel like cutting, bruising, burning or whatever.
http://www.firstsigns.org.uk/help/read-this-first
stay safe :) x