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tainted angel · 13-08-2011, 06:14 PM

*hugs back*

Thank you ... it's good to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone else who has PTSD, and there are no support groups anywhere near me, so I do end up feeling alone a lot.

I can talk a bit here. I find it hard talking about what I'm going through with people who don't have any understanding of PTSD though ... it's not that I'm not OK to explain, it's that people are afraid to ask, and I feel like I'm inflicting things on them if I tell. And some things I simply can't tell anyone.

Running helps me a lot - it's hard to have flashbacks when you're doing something so physical, and it's really hard to think about anything else when your legs hurt from running up a hill! lol. I went for a really hard run yesterday and got some focus in the afternoon, which at least meant I could finish up some things at work.

The feeling of everything being pointless snuck back into my head last night, and it hadn't gone away when I woke up this morning. I have this sort of cold feeling all the time of 'time is running out', normally that's what motivates me to keep going in the face of it all - knowing that life is short - but today I'm just feeling like, what the hell is it all for? This hurts, and hurts badly, and I'm just so so tired of fighting all the time to appear normal, to function. It's not that I physically can't do it anymore, I'm just failing to see the point of it all.

I'm, I don't actually know how to finish this post. *shrugs* sorry brain is really in and out.

13-08-2011, 06:14 PM	#5
tainted angel Join Date: Jun 2007 I am currently:	hugs back Thank you ... it's good to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone else who has PTSD, and there are no support groups anywhere near me, so I do end up feeling alone a lot. I can talk a bit here. I find it hard talking about what I'm going through with people who don't have any understanding of PTSD though ... it's not that I'm not OK to explain, it's that people are afraid to ask, and I feel like I'm inflicting things on them if I tell. And some things I simply can't tell anyone. Running helps me a lot - it's hard to have flashbacks when you're doing something so physical, and it's really hard to think about anything else when your legs hurt from running up a hill! lol. I went for a really hard run yesterday and got some focus in the afternoon, which at least meant I could finish up some things at work. The feeling of everything being pointless snuck back into my head last night, and it hadn't gone away when I woke up this morning. I have this sort of cold feeling all the time of 'time is running out', normally that's what motivates me to keep going in the face of it all - knowing that life is short - but today I'm just feeling like, what the hell is it all for? This hurts, and hurts badly, and I'm just so so tired of fighting all the time to appear normal, to function. It's not that I physically can't do it anymore, I'm just failing to see the point of it all. I'm, I don't actually know how to finish this post. shrugs sorry brain is really in and out. Last edited by tainted angel : 13-08-2011 at 06:16 PM. Reason: spelling
tainted angel Join Date: Jun 2007 I am currently:	Courage is found in unlikely places — J.R.R. Tolkien Nothing is written - T. E. Lawrence If you're going through Hell, keep going – Winston Churchill All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible — T. E. Lawrence