You are not needy or pathetic at all. I think many of us are guilty of giving advice and being kind to others but not doing the same for ourselves. I don't think you talk BS either, your replies are very helpful (you said some helpful words to me), but if you are not feeling up to it then it's okay not to reply and to look after yourself.
I know I don't understand the situation with Keith, and this is probably of no help since I don't know the details, but you still have his whole teenage years and adulthood to enjoy. When we feel low it's hard to shake off the past (I can go over things in my head over and over again), but can looking to the future and new experiences not maybe help? Again I know this is also hard when feeling so low.
I can understand you finding therapy difficult, but just remember what you said to me. Things will turn around. Not sure when, but it will.
I hope you can stay safe and be kind to yourself.xx
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