I understand why you're upset; even though you don't want to go through with the plan, it's still scary that you're thinking about it. Naturally, this makes you want to cut because (well, I'm assuming) you'd rather cut than kill yourself. If that's true, then at least there's the upside (though it may seem small) that you want to live; part of you wants to fight this. Do you have access to a counselor, or a family member or friend who you can trust to listen? Even though we're here for you, I know it's not as great as face-to-face support. I hope you start to feel less stress and less alone. Take care <3 <3 <3
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