thanks a bunch all.
I like the idea of doing little bursts of stuff. It is a good plan.
My wonderful friends from my grad classes have really stepped up to help me a lot. Been really helpful.
I saw my godmother again today. She was saying she was going to be at my wedding and that her friend would bring her even in a wheelchair and decorate it. I almost lost it in the room but was able to hold it together until we got outside.
She will not be at the wedding.
I think about running away from everything all the time. I even consider how to end it. The only reason I don't end it is my best friend lost her father to suicide I can't do that to her twice. I don't run away because it would hurt my fiance. I don't hurt myself because I don't want to hide things on my wedding day.
I don't know what to do instead.
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