Kim thats an awful lot of hate! You will need help dealing with this else it will do nothing but eat you up!
One thing you can do now which may help is to have virtuqal conversations with them in the mirror. Imagine they are there and just let rip! I know it sounds wierd but it can help a lot!
I cant remember any of the smart quotes regarding carrying around hate, but the only person you will hurt by not dealing with it and letting go is yourself. Alas ultimately somewhere along the line you will need to learn to forgive. This doesnt mean advocating or fogetting the things they did, but it is a process by which you can put things at ease to help you move on.
Big hugs
Matthew
(sorry that wasnt much help at all)
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