Unfortunately I don't have a bath, only a shower and I hate it and I don't have a favourite food. I eat everything and anything. I'm putting on weight and I hate it. I'm sure someone at the hospital asked me if I was pregnant. Te only times I felt good in the past was when I was really young and went out to play with my brother. I don't enjoy spending time with him now because I feel like i'm having to hold everything inside away from him and like I could hurt him. I just want some attention and care and I feel ashamed about that. I can't imagine ever having a relationship with someone because I am so messed up and might end up relying on them too much if I ever learn to trust them. I wish my Mum and Dad were here and didn't have their own problems, not so that they could look after me but so I could kill myself and my brother would have someone else to rely on.
|