What you went through was terrible, and it's good you've written it down. However, I don't think you should send the letter. If the guy was still alive then fair enough, you'd be warning his wife and potentially saving others from getting hurt, but he's dead. His wife will be grieving and so will already be living with a lot of pain, receiving your letter and learning all that about someone she loves and has lost could destroy her.
I understand you feel you need to tell her for the good of your own mental health, but I really don't think you should do that at the expense of someone elses.
Please think very hard before coming to any decision, and talk to your therapist before you do anything.
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