I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Anyone can have nightmares, at any age, I have them almost every night and I'm almost 25, been having them since I was small.
It is scary going to get medical help, but it can really help. Before I got help I was stuck in cycles where I was incredibly depressed, didn't sleep etc so I can relate to how draining that can feel. It might be worth really having a good think about going to get help, it's terribly hard to deal with these sorts of things alone.
You've done really well not to self harm in four months. I've done other self harming things when I've been trying not to self harm so I can relate there.
It's great that you're trying to distract yourself, do you have other distractions methods/techniques? Also, reaching out for support is really good, I appreciate it's hard for a lot of people to actually ask for help the fact that you did is positive.
I think a lot of people here can relate to feeling empty, wasted and tired of everything, I've felt that way more times than I remember.
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