was ill all yesterday. some 24 hour virus thing still recovering today.
as for how i'm feeling about the whole thing not sure talked a little to a good scout friend. i'll think about it pi. don't have much credit to be honest that and cant say everything cos it feels like i'm betraying him, it's why i'm going to see if i can wait til next tuesday to talk to my counsellor about it that way totally confidential. also i think i need to talk to him again, i still love him and i think i need to see him face to face.
@morningside he's not getting any help, been trying to push him gently in that direction since his last 'break' about a month ago when he admitted to me he was drinking to deal with emotions, but it took him 7 months to tell me this stuff cos he was so scared how i'd react (it relates to him being bullied and in turn bulliyng/manipulating people) and really i don't know how i have reacted. with empathy to him but confusion and some worry and fear as well.
just trying to slowly process things. because for seven months i've trusted him wholly so surely i still can? x
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