that's a very brave letter and i think you wrote it well. i'm sorry for the pain you have been thru.
i think you need to consider how you will feel though if her response is not what you want (which it probably won't be)....will you be able to handle her denying everything? there is a good chance she will deny all this because she will be wanting to support her husband who she loved. will you be able to handle that? if not it might not be wise to send this letter until you know for a fact that you'll be able to handle whatever response she has.
my only other suggestion is to maybe not talk so much about the self harm because i noticed that it takes up most of the content of your letter, and it may make her lose interest before she gets to the main point of the letter. i think it's important to mention it...because she needs to know the damage her husband's abuse has done to you...but maybe cut that part down a bit cuz it's pretty repetitive.
other than that i think it's excellently written. you've done well to put the blame entirely on her husband since you do not yet know whether she had any involvement. over all a very heart felt letter.
so yeah my only advice is to make sure you can handle whatever response she may have before you send it.
xx
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