We increased medications even more and added another. I think that has finally brought the mania down to hypomania, but I'm still very agitated and my moods swing to angry mixed states almost without warning.
I think the problem was that I was so depressed I wasn't in the habit of doing anything. I want to paint, but I have nothing set up anymore, none of the right tools, don't remember the right mindset. Same with guitar. If I hadn't quit on everything when I was depressed I think this episode would have been a lot easier. So I'm trying to do things one step at a time. At the moment I am getting frustrated easily, and a few bad sketches suddenly made me want to kill myself, so I'll try when I'm in a better mood tomorrow.
|