[Kimaru]

I feel like my life reached its high point during high school and its all going downhill from there. I at least had friends in high school, now I just go to work and then home. I only see my friends about once every 2 months because I moved to the opposite side of the city. I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings anymore because I know that there isn't anything for me to look forward to. Just working at the check out with a lot of grumpy customers, then going home to my brothers arguing and my mom either asleep or watching movies in her room with her boyfriend. I feel so empty and hopeless all the time and I'm just so tired of it. I know I'm probably just depressed again, but I'm tired of that too, getting so depressed all the time and getting put on meds on and off. I want to run away, get hospitalized, OD...something to change the way things are...

I can feel that I'm getting closer and closer to my breaking point, I don't know what "breaking" will consist of but I know it won't be good. My mom said she'd call my psychiatrist from a few months ago and try to make me another appointment because I have a really hard time talking on phones but she keeps forgetting. I remind her nearly every day but she never gets to it...I don't think she really understands how desperate I'm feeling lately. I'm so stuck...I don't know what to do.