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long road · 21-06-2011, 06:12 PM

no didnt have counselling :(
Because i thought it would be too much because i have an exa, tomorrow as well and needed to come home and revise for that.
kind of wish i'd gone, maybe revised at school but i probably would have been so tired by then i wouldnt make much of a session.

dont worry jen, i understand forgetfulness and cba.
as of today only 2 a level exams left ever.
stats on wednesday and physics 5 on next monday then i am freeee :)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : norfolk/ thinking about deleting

errm norfolk is complicated. But i guess writing it out might help.
Basically I went on a geography trip to norfolk in year 12 (compulsory part of the course), a week or two after i was diagnosed with depression. When iwas not majorly stable trying to be secretive about it and still adjusting to my antidepressants so not great start to a week away from home.
trip was alright, bit cold but the work was ok and i was in a big dorm with a load of people i got on with. It was hard to get time alone though and you know how sometimes you need time by yourself to get your head straight. that and some idots kept setting off the fire alarms so firsst few nights didnt get very good sleep.
then on the thursday we got are as module results then went out to fieldwork. i was a bit annoyed at my results, looking back they werent bad AABBC but before then i'd been a straight A student.
so anyway waffling over with, the thursday evening I got reallly bad, I was tired and stressed and kind oif suicidal/ generally mixed up, felt like just running away. so i went up to our room cos i didnt want to be around people in the social areas and just sat in the corner by the window and my bed crying a bit and trying to get a grip. someone else came in asked how i was and i freaked. put my coat and shoes on and mumbled 'i'm going for a walk' then kind of legged it out into the grounds. where i hid and thought a bit about running off into the raod and seeing what happened. but i texted a friend who then called me and spoke to her for ages trying to get a grip. she calmed me down a bit and persuaded me not to do any bad stuff more. (i already self harmed a bit before i called her). then heard some people outside so decided to head back in. went back in and discovered everyone had been looking for me and i'd been missing almost two hours.
which triggered a kind of shit i dont want anyone knowing weird crying relapse. in end spent night in teachers room with my friend jenn. who was very good at the beggining of everything i just dont see her much these days.
on friday we went home and i was feeling a bit suicidal and desperate but got a grip on things. when i got home my mum told me my grandad had died on the monday before i left for norfolk. it floored me.

so sorry about that trying to explain ramble. first time io cmae near to actually killing myself/ running away and soo many emotions. so yeah.

21-06-2011, 06:12 PM	#147
long road Has less of a life than Pi.R^2 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: The Ceiling I am currently:	no didnt have counselling :( Because i thought it would be too much because i have an exa, tomorrow as well and needed to come home and revise for that. kind of wish i'd gone, maybe revised at school but i probably would have been so tired by then i wouldnt make much of a session. dont worry jen, i understand forgetfulness and cba. as of today only 2 a level exams left ever. stats on wednesday and physics 5 on next monday then i am freeee :) The following content has been hidden - Reason : norfolk/ thinking about deleting errm norfolk is complicated. But i guess writing it out might help. Basically I went on a geography trip to norfolk in year 12 (compulsory part of the course), a week or two after i was diagnosed with depression. When iwas not majorly stable trying to be secretive about it and still adjusting to my antidepressants so not great start to a week away from home. trip was alright, bit cold but the work was ok and i was in a big dorm with a load of people i got on with. It was hard to get time alone though and you know how sometimes you need time by yourself to get your head straight. that and some idots kept setting off the fire alarms so firsst few nights didnt get very good sleep. then on the thursday we got are as module results then went out to fieldwork. i was a bit annoyed at my results, looking back they werent bad AABBC but before then i'd been a straight A student. so anyway waffling over with, the thursday evening I got reallly bad, I was tired and stressed and kind oif suicidal/ generally mixed up, felt like just running away. so i went up to our room cos i didnt want to be around people in the social areas and just sat in the corner by the window and my bed crying a bit and trying to get a grip. someone else came in asked how i was and i freaked. put my coat and shoes on and mumbled 'i'm going for a walk' then kind of legged it out into the grounds. where i hid and thought a bit about running off into the raod and seeing what happened. but i texted a friend who then called me and spoke to her for ages trying to get a grip. she calmed me down a bit and persuaded me not to do any bad stuff more. (i already self harmed a bit before i called her). then heard some people outside so decided to head back in. went back in and discovered everyone had been looking for me and i'd been missing almost two hours. which triggered a kind of shit i dont want anyone knowing weird crying relapse. in end spent night in teachers room with my friend jenn. who was very good at the beggining of everything i just dont see her much these days. on friday we went home and i was feeling a bit suicidal and desperate but got a grip on things. when i got home my mum told me my grandad had died on the monday before i left for norfolk. it floored me. so sorry about that trying to explain ramble. first time io cmae near to actually killing myself/ running away and soo many emotions. so yeah. Last edited by long road : 21-06-2011 at 09:46 PM.
	QUACK!