I think on a website such as this there are going to be a LOT of people with scars of varying intensities but then the depth/ 'badness' (forgive my lack of language) of a scar/ cut/ the requirement for medical attention doesn't mean that people are going through more or less pain than anyone.
You said that you look upon yours as 'deep thoughts'. Is there a way that you could express these without hurting yourself? Such as writing them down in a journal or talking to someone? Or anything that works for you really. Do you have a proffesional person who could support you with this?
As I know you haven't asked for help or alternative ways to cope without SH but you said you hate the scars and this suggests to me that at least a little part of you wishes to disengage with this behaviour.
And you haven't said or asked but perhaps look into scar treatments or start using a scar reducer if they bother you. I personally have scars and have learnt that they bring nothing but difficulties and regrets, this may not be the case for you but I urge you to think about it. And sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick or something.
Take care <3
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