RYL Forums - View Single Post - and now they finally know...**UPDATED - NEED HELP AGAIN

Heaven Knows · 21-06-2011, 01:33 AM

Okay, I don't really know what I'm wanting from this thread...support? advice? to know other people feel this way?

Better start from the beginning I guess;
Last week was a very low week for me...to the point I was struggling to leave the house at times because of my anxiety. I still went into work but by Wednesday things came to a head and I had to explain to my manager how much I was struggling. Mainly because I work in a call centre and when my anxiety really plays up I struggle to be on the phones. Anyway, now he's really worried about me (which FYI I absolutely HATE because I don't want people to worry). He wants me to go to the doctors which I've been thinking about recently anyway because I've put up with these thoughts/feelings for too long and right now they're unbearable. I keep driving to work but I zone out just imagining all the places along the way I could drive my car off the road. Or into oncoming traffic. I'm not sleeping barely at all at the moment, probably 1-2 hours a night, if that. Even after a 10 hour shift I'll still not sleep. I'm not eating or taking my medication for my diabetes properly...I just can't bring myself to take medication when it's keeping me alive. I take the bare minimum to survive. I keep trying to get myself back on the right track but then I just wonder what the point is?
Anyway, I'll stop rambling and get to the point, I'm planning on booking an appointment at the Dr's on Wed (I can only book on the day) and I've got a letter I've written (bullet points of what's going on) but I don't really know what to say? Or what to expect? Or what they'll ask? I'm absolutely terrified and would just like some reassurance that this is the right thing to do I guess?
Any support would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry for the long post.
Thanks
x K x

21-06-2011, 01:33 AM	#1
Heaven Knows This Member Has Left. Join Date: Jun 2007 I am currently:	and now they finally know...UPDATED - NEED HELP AGAIN - UPDATED 13.07 Okay, I don't really know what I'm wanting from this thread...support? advice? to know other people feel this way? Better start from the beginning I guess; Last week was a very low week for me...to the point I was struggling to leave the house at times because of my anxiety. I still went into work but by Wednesday things came to a head and I had to explain to my manager how much I was struggling. Mainly because I work in a call centre and when my anxiety really plays up I struggle to be on the phones. Anyway, now he's really worried about me (which FYI I absolutely HATE because I don't want people to worry). He wants me to go to the doctors which I've been thinking about recently anyway because I've put up with these thoughts/feelings for too long and right now they're unbearable. I keep driving to work but I zone out just imagining all the places along the way I could drive my car off the road. Or into oncoming traffic. I'm not sleeping barely at all at the moment, probably 1-2 hours a night, if that. Even after a 10 hour shift I'll still not sleep. I'm not eating or taking my medication for my diabetes properly...I just can't bring myself to take medication when it's keeping me alive. I take the bare minimum to survive. I keep trying to get myself back on the right track but then I just wonder what the point is? Anyway, I'll stop rambling and get to the point, I'm planning on booking an appointment at the Dr's on Wed (I can only book on the day) and I've got a letter I've written (bullet points of what's going on) but I don't really know what to say? Or what to expect? Or what they'll ask? I'm absolutely terrified and would just like some reassurance that this is the right thing to do I guess? Any support would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post. Thanks x K x Last edited by Heaven Knows : 13-07-2011 at 01:34 AM.