Reading this thread I would recommend that you start journaling. You seem to have a lot to say/sort out and writing is a good method for a lot of people, myself included. You could start a thread on the ranting/venting forum or on another website such as tumblr or livejournal or keep a private journal on your computer (there is a ton of free software for macs at least that is very nice). I have written a great deal throughout my bipolar "journey." I have been incredibly isolated at points in my life, and I sympathize with that in your posts. Writing will always be there even when you can't speak to other people because they aren't trustworthy, don't understand, or plain out just aren't there. The other benefit of writing is it can help you figure out your thoughts before you talk to someone so that when you do it is more focused and less confusing.
It seems like you do need a lot more help than you are getting, as well as support from those around you. But until then I would suggest getting a journal and writing a lot, especially about the things that you've mentioned as bothering you in this post.
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