[life-hurts]

I have spoken to my GP this morning about it, who will alert my psychiatrist. I didn't mantion my consultant wanted to hear if I wasn't taking the meds. I think my GP exasperated and doesn't know what to do. Maybe she thinks I'm attention seeking. Maybe she's right. I do know I'm not coping and it feels like no one can help. Someone speaking to me each day could possibly help or it could make things worse but it's unlikely to be offered anyway. To be honest I also don't feel like I deserve to be helped and that is making me feel like I don't want to exist anymore. Trouble is there is no way out of it, if I live then I waste peoples time/energy if I die I hurt people. I'm sorry for going on I'm just venting and probably frustrating people here too. I really am sorry and wish I could be a better person and not quite so pathetic.

Thankyou for your encouragement. It means a lot even though it may not sound it.