[bitomato]

Thanks guys. I guess I do not feel comfortable disclosing too much. But the reality is that I am messed up. I have had bipolar as a diagnosis for 10 years now. I have survived most of the drama including Uni and family not really supporting me getting therapy and meds.

I had a really close friend with bipolar and when they relapsed I found out that they had been tellling everyone my private business even when they were well. It was for manipulation purposes, and I remember being there myself. I was angry at first, and her family then appeared to have cut me off. Her mom later explained it was because she was really sick and if this course of treatment didn't work- they had exhausted all that was available to her.

I haven't told my friend about my family dramas because she tends to focus on the problems of others more than her own. This is the first time that she seems to be accepting responsibility for her life. But unlike me, she doesn't see anyone but a psychiatrist as her family cannot afford anything else.

I don't treat my friend like they are incompetent, but I do have to protect myself, because when I am vulnerable, I say too much. I also don't want to cut off the good stuff in my life- something my psychologist says I always do.

But I am rapidly cycling between contentment and purpose and fear and despair. Don't know where I'll end up when I am alone.