I think it would be a good idea to let your Mum know that you are having these thoughts. I know that is a scary thought, but I think it is for the best.
You deserve better treatment. Do you think you could get your Mum to help you in chasing the Psych and CPN for contact? It sounds like your Mum is supportive, so maybe speaking to her first will help.
Then, it would be a good idea to let the GP know as well - They can also give the CPN a metaphorical boot up the rear to get things done.
Be gentle with yourself. I know you are struggling a lot right now, and I know that takes a lot of energy, do try not to act your thoughts and plans - can you set yourself a target to delay it, maybe to wait until after you have seen the CPN?
Roiben x
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