I think speaking with your doctor about this is a good idea, you don't have to go on mendication if you don't want to but you can discuss what's going on with you, how you're feeling right now and perhaps speak about your experience with medication and work out an efficient plan with your doctor as to how to approach and deal with what's going on.
Medication is a difficult thing, most of the time it is a trial and error process which can become very frustrating. However, when you do find a medication that works for you it can help lift you out of the deep darkness enough to work on getting yourself better. Try and remember that.
I hope you feel better soon
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