Thanks for the advice.
Romp, I appreciate your honesty.
And Matthew: I might be multilingual but I don't speak robot I'm afraid!
I just feel like if I came off them this time would be different. I'd be able to stop things getting out of control. I mean, I should be able to control my own mind, right? Perhaps I just didn't try hard enough last time. In terms of swapping meds, I absolutely hate re-starting something new. All of them have weight gain as a side-effect which I don't want. If I'm honest, that's also part of the reason I want to come off them. To lose more weight.
My moods defined me. They made me who I am. Through them I have had some of the most intense experiences of my life. And now they are gone, and I am left bored by the dreary routine of my life. I’m just not really enjoying it. I’m stuck between the two halves of me which together make a whole, now without all the emotions I got so used to, and this new “stable” me is strange and blank and empty.
I think I just needed to get it out. The fact that I'm frustrated about the whole situation.
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