Thanks CrazyKat. With the essay I've just started making loads of notes for now, hopefully something will click sooner or later.
I'll see how the next week goes before I decide about the GP, the suicidal thoughts have calmed right down which is a big relief, I think there was too much going on last week and having a couple of days rest has really helped. Still wanting to SH though, but thats better (IMO) than feeling suicidal.
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