[Kimaru]

I felt great today...woke up and my 8 year old brother helped me make breakfast. We sat and ate breakfast together and put in a movie so the morning was good. After I cleaned up I went online to some local animal shelter sites seeing if they had any new adoptable kittens. I was promised a kitten for my graduation present but because I came out 3 credits short of a diploma I never got one. I'm 18 now and have a job so I contribute to the house, my mom said that if i keep my room spotless than she sees no reason why I can't get a kitten now since I'd be paying for it. I put up a status on facebook that I was getting a kitten this month and I wouldn't let anything stop me because I've wanted one for years. My grandma then left a long comment basicly telling me why I don't deserve to get a kitten because my school attendance hasn't been great lately (due to anxiety attacks but she doesn't know that) and my room is probably messy and I probably wouldn't be responsible enough to take care of it. After I read it I just felt awful, I dropped right back down from my great mood into miserable again. I don't understand why something so small and insignificant ruined my great mood, I haven't been happy like that in weeks and I let something so small ruin it. Now I feel stupid for wanting to get a kitten, she was right I don't really deserve one. I just wanted to make myself feel better, I thought it would feel good to save a kitten from a shelter and give it a nice home for the rest of its life and I thought it would make me happy to have it around and watch it grow up. I thought having a cute little kitten would make me feel less depressed. I guess I was only thinking about myself and not what would be good for the kitten.

I don't know why this bothered me so much or why I'm posting about it, I just got really worked up over it