[Stellata]

Since my situation at work changed [details confidential still] I've had no contact with my manager, well, no communication. I get the feeling she doesn't want to know, there's too much else going on.

I need to say something to her, about how I'm struggling, and a couple of practical concerns. But basically it's reassurance seeking me seeking reassurance, and that's inappropriate, really.

It's all suddenly as if my concerns aren't their business any more.

Trouble is I am quite severely depressed, my memory and concentration is off. I'm working as hard as I can. But I am also feeling suicidal and have self harmed a couple of times in the past fortnight. This is partly work related, but no one can do anything anyway, and I'm getting good support from my team. Technically work can't do anything. So maybe I should just say nothing. But historically then I just build up resentment and all my Borderline stuff acts up. I don't know the 'middle line'. Well, I do, saying something simply. But it's not simple.