How about a counsellor at school or a youth drop in centre? I think it is important that you find someone to talk to. Being a teenager it can seem like a real challenge to get someone to listen to you, but just remember that you are worth it.
Write an apology to your friend. You don't have to give it to them, but maybe look at what you did to hurt them and why you now think you despise them. You broke a confidence and that can be hard to forgive, but if you give it time maybe you can build back the trust.
You have hormones going on top of the symptoms you listed above and you need someone unbiased to listen to you. So go easy on yourself and hang in there. It's tough in the beginning. I didn't know I had bipolar as a teenager- I just knew something was wrong. I tried to tell my parents, but in the end I went to get help for myself.
You are worth it okay. Don't give up.
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