1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Burning. Cutting. Pulling my hair out. Biting myself. Punching things/myself. ODing. One reason is to harm myself with purging/starving/abusing laxatives/diuretics/diet pills etc.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
They help me cope therefore it makes it easier to just live and breathe.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I've no idea tbh. I usually feel out of control with my SH. I don't really do it for control as such...
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
Sometimes I do feel a huge sense of relief after the behavior, either for just doing it in itself, or because I've missed it, etc, other times I feel numb, other times I feel "alive", if I feel like it's "enough" even for a split second, I feel somewhat happy I guess.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
Because it is harming me... therefore it is punishing me.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I was about 7 when I started, I don't remember the specific reason why I started, mixture of things were going on in my life at that time. Things just got worse.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It kinda does comfort me, because I have to take care of it afterwards.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I am asking for help
I want to be rescued
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to somehow atone for my sins
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Talk.
2. Have someone hold me.
3. Play something releasing.
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away(I wish it didn't though...)
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment (but they are also there for other reasons, shame/punishment isn't the top reasons.)
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
I switch pretty rapidly from a few, but right now I'd say I'm at 1.
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