I meant re attacking myself for 'being weak'.
I've survived, stubbornly, by that kind of thing.
There's so much an internal [and sometimes external] culture of "Don't get stressed." "Don't let it upset you." "Be brave." etc, and although I tried, I am not 'living up to that measure' any more. If I ever did.
But I just wanted to survive, and hopefully be accepted.
I don't know where the boundaries, the edges, are.
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