i try its..hard.
talked about it in counselling today.which helped a bit.
Its like Did i react the wrong way would they have gone away if i'd done something different. It finally hit home how much i was bullied when i described people: kicking over my chair; tripping me up; touching my arse cos it made me feel awkward: as nothing major. i didnt like it but it was part of life you tried to ignore it, to not explode. but if i saw kids doing this what would i think? bad memories are there but i got through things by pushing them down and focusing on the ok and the good bits.
Still rememember the first time I though about suicide I was 9 years old. that makes me feel a little fucked up. still cant really see how i am as an illness I just take the pills to keep the doctors happy and try to deal with things.
meh was a good session and we ended on a more positive note.
hope you're ok you been posting at 3am a lot *hugs*
this jen xx
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