I find that for me, this comes in waves. I have times when I get sick of everything, and tired of the fight, and have learnt that it is something I have to ride out. I do not know if it is the same for you.
I do understand the frustration with appointments. I have times when I feel I am missing too much time from work going to them all (physical and mental health appointments) and have made myself feel guilty over it.
My point is, you are not alone with this and it will pass. As hard as it is right now, the feeling will wax and wane and you will be able to move on from it.
Roiben x
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