"hugs"
I guess its real easy to become hoocked on alcohol i guess as it tends to bring you away from reality and let you just live in a different world.
Its sound as though you are genuinly conccerned to a point now, and maybe this could be the turning point for you, Going cold turkey is never a good option but could you maybe try limit your intake and not buy as much as you usually would so that temptation is less for you.
Also you should seek some help and advice from your GP as they can put you in contact with all the right people and also offer you more intesive support with talking therapy and such. While you acknowlage this its best to act on it.
Sorry not much help.
All the best
ash x
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