Being paranoid, si, him, ocd, school, family, life in general... feels like too much! Not tired, exhausted from everything, not tired though. I was doing pretty good the last three days, not feeling suicidal I mean and then it comes back to this!
I wanna be done! Nothing is getiing better and starting to hate when people say it takes time. How much time is time?
I dont know what to do? Sometimes I think I just make this up and all the other problems! Cant be real, none of it can! Hate it soo much. Have to be making up, no other reason or explanation! I wanna give up.
What if I do do something? I dont wanna! Cant do it! Not yet, not ever. Wanna say I wont but am becoming unsure. Nothing seems right because it isnt. Dont wanna do anything to hurt others. Dont want to or like hurting others. Kind of wanna get through this and over it, but nothings going in the right direction. I dont know what to do! When is too laye too late? Dont wanna think about that.
(sorry about the rambling)
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