slurpslurp, your post is definitely not a waste of time, so don't apologize!
I've been where you are right now ... posting on here is a good start, but please, you do have to tell someone in person too! It's hard to trust people, I know, but once you find someone you can trust, they might be able to help you even more than you think.
I'm here for you, pm me if you need anything!
big hug!
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