As others have said it depends on the situation. Sometimes I would feel so betrayed by an act like this but other times it is what I needed because I needed someone to talk to - if this makes sence.
I think being honest with the person when they fist confined in you and say you might have to tell someone for their own safety, and is there a specific teacher, carer, worker etc that they would prefer to be told. Trying to convince them to speak to someone who may have the means to help, dr etc just so you haven't be left to deal with this yourself when you can't.
If you never promise to keep it a secret and make them aware that you may have to pass the information on to specific people then maybe it could be less of a blow to the self harmer.
If the self harmer is really needing help quickly and you know it isn't something you can deal with yourself then go and speak to someone, say you go and tell your year head, but maybe mention that you don't want them to phone parents (if they have to) until they have spoken every thing through with the self harmer. You should say to the self harmer you are going to speak to this person...yes they may hate you for it for a while but it might be the only thing you can do. You have to look after yourself and do what YOU feel is the best for them.
I think what I am trying to say is if you make the self harmer aware that you can't keep this completely between the two of you and that you have to tell someone who will most likely be more help than you can then it might be less of a blow to the self harmer when you speak to someone.
Promising not to say anything and then going behind their back, even though it is for their own good can destroy their trust and ultimately make it harder for them to deal with things and beable to trust any one else who may be able to help them.
Keeping the self harmer involved it who you have to talk to, what is happening etc gives them the feeling of some control and makes them aware of what is happening. So for example they don't go home and find out their guidance, year head and parents all now know...that can be a bit of a blow and very hard to deal with.
Okay will stop ranting....I hope I have got my point across...you can't keep this to yourself, especially if it is endangering the self harmer and yourself(causing you stress etc). Just make sure the self harmer is involved with who you speak to, go together to speak to a teacher or doctor etc. But sometimes thought they won't agree you will have to tell someone so hopefully you are both safe.
Devil x
|