I think you miss my point a little.
Basically why do we NEVEr say it was bad parenting when someone does something that affects the kids? It kinda pisses me off tbh. In real life and most of the time on here.
Im not calling people bad parents. Just like if i had one silly accident in the car i wouldnt want to be branded a bad driver, but that silly incident was deserving of being called bad driving.
Over and over parents do shitty things and question if they are a bad parent and get nothing in return other than kisses and hugs and "oh no you are amazing". I dont see why we cant say, actually Matthew you arent a bad parent per se but you parented that situation really badly, or as a consequence of your actions you were parenting badly!
Rather than "on no sweety you are amazing and strong and wonderful and the sun shines from your bottom"..
How is someone going to know or learn if they are vindicated each time in their actions? I know many who through the sefl realisation of how they have affected their kids on some way have gotten better or ceased etc. Just read the "reason for quitting" threads for example.
Perhaps im saying this from a recovery POV. As now firmly and deeply in recovery i can truely see the consequences of my actions. I cease from doing silly things becausde i know the effect on others now aside from merely myself. I dunno. Maybe im seeing this all too simply?
I just found a horse and its rather high up here :)
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