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~Grace~ · 09-04-2011, 08:43 AM

Thank you so much for your replies.
WE recieved a letter from the school yesterday detailing the dates of her counselling sessions...she gets four of them, starting in may...bang during her exams. This really wories me...but feel it has to go ahead.

Anyway...that gave me the cue to talk to her. So I told her that i knew about the counselling sessions and that that was ok and that I knew it was because she was worried about me. At this point she cried and we just hugged. I told her that my illness meant that I couldnt handle my emotions properly and that sometimes id feel too sad, or angry and couldnt cope with those feelings. I told her that my harming wasnt bad (I know...but i didnt want her over worrying)..I told her that it wasnt because I wanted to die...we talked a bit more....she kind of laughed...relief I think....she then hugged again....and went on facebook saying that she felt better about it all....and would still go to the counselling sessions.

I didnt want her to carry knowing by herself, so I also went and had a talk with my son...20. He said he kind of knew by the marks on my hand which i had always blamed on the cat/ I told him the same, he said he knew it was an outlet...and was very matter of fact about it.

When I get the opportunity I will also tell my eldest daughter...I think its now important that they have each other to talk to as well as their dad. Shes now moved out so it may take a while...but yeah.

We then went out for a meal....

I felt very bad about myself yesterday, that id let my family down, that I was a bad mother for ever letting this happen, that Id ruined their lives...

I feel a bit more ok today...not sure what theyre thinking..but normal day..in town...she wants some retail therapy..so yeah, kind of normal. But I do realise things may still be festering in her head and will keep a close eye on her

Thank you once again
Much love xx

sorry..ive just reread what ive written and it seems terribly matter of fact...i think thats my wat of dealing with it all....but i wasnt that way when i was telling my children..it was done gradually and gently...sighs...

If im truthful, I really cant get my head around it all after years of hiding it and protecting them. Im worried what the future will hold for them now they know. Will they end up the same as me? Will they become self harmers, not knowing how to deal with their emotions?
round and round it goes in that head of mine, never ending....will the guilt stop..probably not
I could cry and cry right now...but no i wont..i cant......got to go out and be a normal mum xx

09-04-2011, 08:43 AM	#9
~Grace~ Join Date: Jun 2007	Thank you so much for your replies. WE recieved a letter from the school yesterday detailing the dates of her counselling sessions...she gets four of them, starting in may...bang during her exams. This really wories me...but feel it has to go ahead. Anyway...that gave me the cue to talk to her. So I told her that i knew about the counselling sessions and that that was ok and that I knew it was because she was worried about me. At this point she cried and we just hugged. I told her that my illness meant that I couldnt handle my emotions properly and that sometimes id feel too sad, or angry and couldnt cope with those feelings. I told her that my harming wasnt bad (I know...but i didnt want her over worrying)..I told her that it wasnt because I wanted to die...we talked a bit more....she kind of laughed...relief I think....she then hugged again....and went on facebook saying that she felt better about it all....and would still go to the counselling sessions. I didnt want her to carry knowing by herself, so I also went and had a talk with my son...20. He said he kind of knew by the marks on my hand which i had always blamed on the cat/ I told him the same, he said he knew it was an outlet...and was very matter of fact about it. When I get the opportunity I will also tell my eldest daughter...I think its now important that they have each other to talk to as well as their dad. Shes now moved out so it may take a while...but yeah. We then went out for a meal.... I felt very bad about myself yesterday, that id let my family down, that I was a bad mother for ever letting this happen, that Id ruined their lives... I feel a bit more ok today...not sure what theyre thinking..but normal day..in town...she wants some retail therapy..so yeah, kind of normal. But I do realise things may still be festering in her head and will keep a close eye on her Thank you once again Much love xx sorry..ive just reread what ive written and it seems terribly matter of fact...i think thats my wat of dealing with it all....but i wasnt that way when i was telling my children..it was done gradually and gently...sighs... If im truthful, I really cant get my head around it all after years of hiding it and protecting them. Im worried what the future will hold for them now they know. Will they end up the same as me? Will they become self harmers, not knowing how to deal with their emotions? round and round it goes in that head of mine, never ending....will the guilt stop..probably not I could cry and cry right now...but no i wont..i cant......got to go out and be a normal mum xx Last edited by ~Grace~ : 09-04-2011 at 09:15 AM.
~Grace~ Join Date: Jun 2007