do you want to talk a bit more about what is going on? talking/writing can help you deal with the feelings, as well as let other people be able to give better sympathy or advice.
what helped you stop before (since you're saying "going back to it")? those things can be a starting place to go when an urge hits, and can be a good place to start looking for new coping and distraction ideas. they show what things work some, and then you can go from there to find things that work better, without it being random shots in the dark.
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