I'm so, so sorry. This must have come as a great shock to you even though you knew that she was ill. It must be made so much harder for you because you were still trying to come to terms with the fact that she was ill and now all of this has been thrown at you. She sounds like a really special person and she will always have a place in your heart no matter where she is now. Being asked to be the coffin bearer would have made reality all too real for you, I can see why it has affected you in the way that it has.
It does seem to be true that good people are taken from us way too early. Please take care of yourself and accept how you are feeling as those feelings come. I'm thinking about you, get in touch any time. xxx
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